8 Everyday Activities That Are Far More Enjoyable After Getting Stoned
You haven’t fully unlocked the potential of a morning shower until you’ve smoked.В I’m not referring to cigarettes, I’m talking aboutВ the one and only Mary Jane.
The fact of the matter is, she just makes every experienceВ worth it. Every true smoker can attest toВ that.В After all, these minor enhancements are what makes marijuana worth blazing in the first place!
Check out these eight everyday activities that are infinitely better to take part in after getting stoned:
Having trouble staying on your gym grind? A littleВ toke of the ganja might help!
Smoking before you hit the treadmill will take your overall experience from basic fitness routineВ to super-focused workout session.
Marijuana has been proven to enhance your fitness experience as it focuses your mind and numbs your discomfort.
In addition, if you’re not into rolling joints or ripping bongs, vaping is another method of marijuana consumptionВ known to enhance your daily workout.
This is due to the fact that vaping, in general, is much healthier for the user.
Try scarfing down your dinner after a long, tiresome day.
This simple task alone might seem hard to accomplish as you hover over your dinner plate with cloudy eyes, eagerly trying to keep yourself from face-planting.
If you smoke beforehand, however, the world-famous “munchies” will kick in and you’ll be inhaling your food like a cold-blooded savage in no time.
Next time your appetite needs a boost, find some bud, bud!
That old myth about stoners being too lazy to have good hygiene? It’s bullsh*t.
Blazing and eating every snack in sight sounds like a great idea, but guess what?В Showering is even better!
If you’ve ever wanted to experience heaven on earth, your best bet is to smoke up and hop in the shower. It’s nearly the equivalent of having Disneyland all to yourself –В pure bliss and happiness.
Playing Call of Duty and pounding beers sounds both super-American and super-cool, but if you replace that beer with a joint, you might feel like you’re actually in the game itself.
Marijuana heightens your senses and makes gaming feel a bit more like reality. In other words, that vibrating controller will feel a lot more like an earthquake.
From skydiving over the chaotic streets of Los Santos in Grand Theft Auto V, to finessing a two-hit knockout in EA Sports’ UFC 2, smoking prior to gaming will put you in the zone and on-course toВ reigning supreme in your favorite virtual world!
Listening to Music
The reason you don’t find Drake’s latest song the least bit amusing is because you haven’t listened to it stoned yet.
With your senses enhanced, you’ll notice instruments you’ve never heard, despite the fact you’re listening to your iTunes’ most played track.
Much like stoned gaming, blasting your favorite tracks after a dab or two is the only way to do it!
The ADHD age is has prevented us from being able to sit through our favorite shows.В Binge-watching is becoming harder and harder with every new mobile app released.
Notification after breaking news alert after notification — how does anyoneВ tune out of real life for their TV time these days?
Thanks to cannabis consumption, binge-watching is a lot easier for the average smoker.
There’s nothing wrong with enabling your brain’s THC-induced sleep-mode feature every once in a while. It’s either that, or you’re going to have to scan the Internet for “Game of Thrones” spoilers!
Netflix and Chilling
And by Netflix and chill, I mean sexual intercourse!
Is there anything wrong with admitting that sex under the influence of marijuana is just flat-out better than intercourse under the influence of, say, alcohol?!
Not only does it feel better for both parties involved, but also lasts a lot longer. Not to mention, orgasms feel astronomically more powerful than the incoherent sloppiness that comes along with drunk sex.
Getting Sh*t Done
Relax all you want. Stuff your face with pizza. Play all of the video games your brain can handle.
But remember, marijuana is most effective when you’re ready to put in some work.
Although I wouldn’t suggest smoking on the job, smoking the reefer can help fuel your creative process and power over the speed bumps that may lie ahead.
Rather than giving in to a handful of stoner stereotypes that exist, it’s important toВ pushВ against the current by consuming cannabis forВ constructive purposes.
You haven’t fully unlocked the potential of a morning shower until you’ve smoked.В I’m not referring to cigarettes, I’m talking aboutВ the one and only Mary Jane. The fact of the matter is, she just makes every experienceВ worth it. Every true smokerвЂ¦
Can you smoke weed in the shower
Growing up, my mother was (and still is) a big stoner, so I’ve never been concerned with getting caught green-handed at home. However, throughout the years I’ve exercised discretion while getting high in hotels and dorms, at the Waffle House, during concerts, in the middle of the disco, at the company holiday party, in the basement of my friend’s house paranoid on acid, in the stairwell of a music studio in midtown Manhattan, in the hot tub of the Ritz-Carlton at 2 a.m. before being escorted out by security…I could go on for days. Needless to say, learning to be a stealthy stoner is a bright idea. Pay attention while I dish you some tips.
Anticipate Your Needs
When toking on the down low, you want easy access to everything you could possibly need. I recommend putting together a stash bag, like one from the AnnaBís collection, full of essentials: breath mints, gum, eye drops, fragrance oil, miniature air freshener, moist toilettes, lighter, matches, poker or paper clip, pipe cleaners, one-hitter, cannabis, etc.
Choose a Method
Whatever you do, don’t smoke a blunt or a joint because the smoke is uncontrollable and you will get busted. Instead, use a bowl with a lid like the Proto Pipe or a one-hitter. Or skip combustion all together and vaporize your cannabis. CO2 vape oil pens and portable dry leaf vaporizers like the PAX 2 are super discreet, extremely convenient and easy to hide. Plus, the vapors emitted are much tamer and the odor is subtle. Just be sure to keep your bud in an air-tight jar. It’ll give off more aroma than your plumes of vapor.
Related: Stoner Buddy Movies
Banish the Smell
The sweet and pungent aroma of cheeba is easily recognizable. You’ll want to mask or eliminate the odor the best you can. First, close all vents and block the draft under your door. You can use a towel for the door, but I prefer a draft stopper because it looks less sketchy. Consider investing in an air purifier. They’re spendy, but well worth the investment. Scented candles, incense, and air sanitizers are helpful, too. In college, I perfected the art of smoking through a spoof and never got caught. Make your own by taking an empty toilet paper or paper towel roll and taping a folded drier sheet on one end. Simply, exhale into the open end for fresh-laundry-scented smoke. Or, you can buy one of these handy personal smoke filters: Smoke Buddy, Sploofy or Snubbz. Also, next time you’re in a head shop, look for a tiny spoof disguised as chapstick. It makes a handy addition to your stash bag.
Eliminate the Smoke
Open a window and place a box fan facing outside in the sill. Turn it on high. After you take a hit, cover the top of your bowl or one hitter. Then, exhale slowly into the back of the fan. If you have another fan in the room, allow it to oscillate.
Hide the Noise
You may cough or get a case of the giggles. Not to mention, the click of your lighter may tip someone off. Do yourself a favor and play some background music. Electric fans will help create ambient noise as well. You could turn on the TV, but it’s generally a buzzkill. If you’re in the bathroom, run the shower or faucet. Keep a pillow or hoodie close by to muffle uncontrollable fits of laughter and the like.
Survey the Scene
Is the smoke alarm disarmed? Are the doors locked? Are the vents closed? Is the window open? Is the draft under the door blocked? Is the air purifier turned on? Is music playing? Is your 420-fearing roommate around? Are your parents home? Are your kids home? Where’s your stash bag? Before your judgement gets a little hazy, take note of your surroundings, make sure you have everything you need, and take any last minute precautions to avoid unexpected encounters.
Devise an Emergency Backup Plan
Accidents happen. Maybe, after a few drinks, you think it’s a good idea to hot box the apartment. Perhaps, you’re smoking up with inexperienced tokers and someone knocks over the bong, allowing the stench and smoke to escape. You may forget to towel the door. One of your friends may start squealing like a pig. Stay cool, spray air sanitizer, open a window, hide your stash, and take a walk. What happens if a neurotic roommate or asshole neighbor stops by to complain? Apologize and send them on their way. What happens if the police come knocking at your door? Stay cool and know your 4th Amendment rights.
Stealthy Stoner Bonus Tips:
- Smoke up in the bathroom. It’s the one place you can get away with spending extended periods of time without someone barging in.
- Cover your fire alarm with a plastic shower cap to keep it from going off while you’re blazing.
- Keep an empty beer bottle around. If someone calls you out for acting silly, blame it on the malty beverage.
- Explore the discrete world of medicated edibles, tinctures, and patches. No smell, no smoke, no problems.
How to get lit without getting caught.